The Colonel’s Plan

Tonight begins the first calendar year I’ve spent without my father. It seems appropriate, then, to begin sharing the several dozen letters I’ve written him since he left us. They’re all about the same thing–the completion of the house he designed, and partially built, starting back in 1967. He lived in it, unfinished, for 49 and a half years. Now it’s being finished, so I’m telling him about that process. Along the way, I’ll tell you about the house, the man that built it, the family that lived in it. I plan to share these letters weekly. I hope you all enjoy the tour. 

September 14, 2017

Dear Daddy—

You died on May 6th. It was in the afternoon. You had gone to sleep on Thursday, and not really woken up after that. We sat with you and held your hand and talked to you, and then you just left us.

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Legion of Super-Heroes Re-Read – “The Menace of Dream Girl” (Adventure Comics 317 – February, 1964)

Saturn Girl, clearly in charge of the team for once, summons several Legionnaires back from missions in space so that they can have a quorum for their regular meeting. Two of the recalled Legionnaires have been absent from the book for a long time. Star Boy hasn’t been seen him since his first appearance in Adventure Comics #282 in March, 1961—an almost-three-year absence. Matter-Eater Lad has been gone for over a year, last appearing in Adventure Comics #304, January, 1963.

The two are clad in radiation suits on a devastated world—the result of atomic warfare. It’s the bleakest image to appear in the Legion stories to date, and shows that John Forte, as he continued to work on the book, was coming a long way from the “Main Street, USA” feel of his pencils.

Superboy and Mon-El are trying to break through an “Iron Curtain of Time,” so-named by Superboy, who has probably only just witnessed the USSR’s establishment of the original Iron Curtain in his own time. Winston Churchill coined the term around 1945. Superboy has been given as being roughly 20 years in the current Superman’s past.

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Legion of Super-Heroes Re-Read – “The Renegade Super-Hero!” (Adventure Comics #316 – January, 1964)

This issue looks to be especially geared towards new readers. The cover promises an origins and powers feature, and the opening page has Superboy providing introductions, including the names and powers of several members, on the first page. He does this in alleged conversation:

“Hello, Phantom Girl! I see you’re practicing your power of walking through walls!”

Phantom Girl is finally included in a story, speaking and everything. And it’s good, in her case, that she gets such an intro. Readers had probably forgotten her. But she’s important here, because this is an Ultra Boy-centric story, and her heretofore unknown admiration for / attraction to him is key.

Ultra Boy’s origin is retold, explaining how he was swallowed by an energy beast in space, and gained “penetra vision.” This time, though, the origin says that “Later, I discovered” more powers. But it still says he discovered them prior to joining the Legion, which doesn’t quite mesh with his first appearance. This is the first story to cement all of his powers in place and establish that he can only use one at a time.

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Legion of Super-Heroes Re-Read – “The Legionnaires’ Super-Contest!” (Adventure Comics #315 – December, 1963)

The Legionnaires leave Earth to give a presentation at a conference, satisfied that all is well because their wrist monitors are tied into the Universe Monitor at their clubhouse. It shows them, ostensibly, everything that’s going on all over the universe. It was a gift from the people of Thar in return for all the help the Legion has given them. It’s never mentioned in the story that the people of Thar are Polar Boy’s people.

Clever alien criminals, planning to loot all of the glass on Earth for use in producing deadly weapons, send a faked signal to the Legion’s wrist monitors, showing them all is well in Metropolis, even as they’re sucking up literally every shard of glass in the city.

Enter the Legion of Substitute Heroes, of whose existence the main Legion is unaware. They fight off the invaders and save Earth’s glass. (You can’t make this stuff up. Unless you’re Edmond Hamilton, of course.)

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Legion of Super-Heroes Re-Read – “The Super-Villains of All Ages” (Adventure Comics #314 – November, 1963)

On the cover of this issue, the villain proclaims that he will destroy all 18 members of the Legion. Hmmm…. There are 20. Maybe he’s not counting Superboy (to whom he’s speaking) and Supergirl? In addition to quoting a number that isn’t necessary and getting it wrong, the cover presents one of the most confusing scenes in the story, as I’ll explain in a bit.

The Legion had pretty well taken over the covers of Adventure Comics as of #311. Superboy still got the odd cover to himself, but the Legion, who had up till then appeared only occasionally on the cover, was the subject more often than not. 11 od the 12 covers after #311 were Legion covers.

John Forte is back on pencils this issue, and Lightning Lad, who wasn’t even discussed last time, even though he’d just come back to life (which is a pretty big deal) is highlighted on the cover and takes an active part.

Two applicants try out for membership this time: Ron Karr, who would appear again later as a member of the Legion of Super-Villains, and Alaktor, who is rejected because his powers are mechanically based. But he doesn’t care, because his whole scheme was to collect intel on the Legion Clubhouse’s defenses. It’s never mentioned that Alaktor is a little old—actually a lot old—to be a Legionnaire. He looks about 40. Continue reading

“The Condemned Legionnaires ” (Adventure Comics 313, October, 1963)

So “the girl Legionnaires” all come down with a fever which turns their skin crimson. What else it does isn’t really specified, but the illness is apparently fatal, and Superboy, of all people, tells the girls they’re doomed and have to go to the quarantine world. Not really Superboy’s style, telling people they’re just gonna die.

Phantom Girl is back in this issue, but doesn’t say a word. She turns red and sits in a wheelchair. Readers who missed her one appearance years back don’t even have any idea why she’s called “Phantom Girl.”

The remaining (male) Legionnaires are taunted by the arrival to Satan Girl, who has the power of a Kryptonian on Earth, and brashly demands Legion membership. When the boys pretty much say, “Uh, waitaminute…” she announces that she caused the Crimson sickness, and now she’s going to kill all the female Legionnaires.

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God Bless Us Every One

For some people, today is about eating, drinking and giving each other gifts.

For some people, today is a sacred day, the day when we celebrate the birth of God’s son, who came to save us from our own worst natures.

For some people, today is about feeling excluded, feeling lonely, experiencing depression. Although the claim that suicide rates spike at Christmas appears to be a myth, a time when joy is a publicly traded commodity can be painful from someone who feels left out.

Christmas, like any positive thing, can be misused, can devolve into banality, can cause pain.

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Legion of Super-Heroes Re-Read – “The World of Doomed Olsens!” (Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen #72 – October, 1963)

The Collector has come for Jimmy Olsen!

 

No, not him

Nor him. Continue reading

The Super-Sacrifice of the Legionnaires! (Adventure Comics #312, September, 1963)

He’s aliiiiiiiiiiive!

Well, he is by the end of the story. Seven months after his death, and after many, many dropped hints, Lightning Lad returns to life in this issue. With Mon-El returning from his native world of Daxam, bringing the sad news that his people’s technology cannot restore the fallen Legionnaire, the Legion becomes obsessed with finding a way to restore life to a boy who was quick-frozen to death. They consult their library and find every reference to every technique known for restoring life. You might think they’d have done that earlier, but I guess they were busy.

Is it just me, or does the rocketship clubhouse look way too small to have a library this size, much less the meeting room they’re always showing?

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The Legion of Substitute Heroes Declares War on the Legion of Super-Heroes! (Adventure Comics #311, August, 1963)

So, right up front, Polar Boy is not a Bastard Person, as the cover might lead some to believe. There is a scene in the story in which he proposes to “battle the Legion to a showdown” (Huh? Run that by me again?), indeed, it’s a direct reproduction / reduction of the cover, shrunk down to one-panel size; but he has a really good reason for his proposal.

That reason is largely that the Legion of Super-Heroes members are being the most bastardly of Bastard People. It’s way over the top. Continue reading